"You are the only one who can make you happy." We have all heard that so many times in our lives.
There are times it is a pretty tough pill to swallow. In reality, the people that surround you have a huge impact on your current mood. When your children are grumpy in the morning, you find a nice pile the dog left you over night, you hit the road and the traffic won't allow you your normal speed, then when you get to work and your co-worker called in sick... these are all things that might contribute to your overall Happiness of the day.
However, moods and temporary emotions are not the same as happiness. Happiness exists when you look at the overall picture of your life and you smile, that is happiness. You know those times when you can't wait for your children to go to bed, then later you check on the kids and you almost cry because they look exactly like angels... YOUR ANGELS, sleeping so sweetly and soundly. You can hardly remember a time of irritation with them. That is Happiness.
As life progresses and changes, we realize that who we are, (what makes us, us)... that is what we are responsible for. We know that immediate gratification or irritation only pacifies or deteriorates our emotional stimuli short term. Our global view of how we see ourselves determines our state of mind. Our state of mind determines our Happiness.
So, how do we take control of our emotions and find the path of Happiness? This seems to be the million dollar question. There are tons of books on or related to the subject. You could read and practice until you are completely confused. Or, we could spend the rest of our life introspectively evaluating what makes us happy. Which might take more time and energy and actually frustrate us more.
How about this? What if we looked at ourselves and decided what we liked and didn't like and set about making changes. It doesn't have to be major alterations. Maybe you are tired of your house but can't afford to move. Try painting the living room or buying flowers to set on the kitchen table. If you haven't had a vacation for awhile and just can't afford to take that cruise, go camping instead.
Maybe the issues are more personal or internal. Do you get mad too easily? Learn yoga or meditation. Are you having marital problems? Visit a counselor. Are the kids having discipline issues? Determine the major issues, establish guidelines on how you are going to correct the problem and stick to it.
You may be saying, 'Sure, that sounds so easy but...' Of course it sounds easy. Problems are always easier to talk about than to take the obvious actions to fix them. But, for the most part, things are as difficult or as easy as we determine them to be. Sometimes we just make things harder than necessary.
If your unHappiness stems from a situation beyond your control then find other ways to compensate. If, for example, money is so tight and no apparent windfall is coming your way any time soon, find inexpensive entertainment. Backyard ballgames, picnics in the park, movie night with popcorn and snacks in your bedroom are a few alternatives to an expensive night out. If the issues are more serious and you feel powerless, that is the time to seek professional help.
Otherwise, look in the mirror and be glad. If you don't like what you see, change it. Make the solution that simple!
“你是唯一一個可以讓自己幸福的人。”我們總是聽到有人說我們還有很多的時間。
那些時間就像在吞咽一顆苦澀的藥片讓人無奈。事實上，你圍繞在你周圍的人會對你的心情會有相當大的影響。例如，早晨你的孩子很不聽話，一夜過后你的夠給你留下一堆特別的東西，你撞到墻上然后交通又限制你正常速度，當你開始工作時你的同事打電話說他身體不適等等，這些事情都將會影響你一整天的幸福感覺。
然而，心情和暫時的情感都是不能和幸福相提并論的。幸福存在于你看到你生活的整個畫面時，你面帶微笑。是的，這才是幸福。你知道的，你沒能等到你孩子去睡覺，但是當去檢查他們睡得是否安好時，你幾乎能流淚，因為他們睡得是如此的香甜，就像是天使……你的天使。你似乎不記得他們曾有讓生氣的時候了。這才是幸福。
隨著生活的變化和提高，我們開始認識到我們是誰，（是什么早就了現在的我們，我們…）…我們的責任是什么。我們知道一時的滿足和煩惱只是使我們使情緒得到短暫安慰或惡化。我們對我們自己的整體看法才會決定我們精神狀態，而我們的精神狀態又決定我們的幸福。
于是，我們要如何來控制我們的情緒，進而發現通往幸福的捷徑呢？這似乎是一個價值連城的問題。已經有成噸重的書對這個主題進行了闡述或涉及。你可以讀讀這些書并依此付諸實踐，知道你徹底迷茫；或者，我們可以用我們余下的時間來反思和評估是什么讓我們幸福。這些可能占有我們更多的時間和精力和帶給我們更多的挫敗。
那么如果我們這樣做呢？我們如果先自我審視一番，然后決定什么是我們喜歡的，什么是我們不喜歡的，接著開始改變。沒有必要一定是大的變化。例如，可能你已經厭倦了你現在的房子，但是你又沒有錢新買房搬家。那么你可以試著給你的房間刷上新的油漆，或者買一些花放到你的餐桌上。可能你沒有一個完整的長假去做長途旅行，那么你可以嘗試去露營。
這些話題可能太個人化或者內心化。你太容易發火嗎？那就學習瑜伽或者嘗試沉思吧！你有婚姻問題嗎？那就去咨詢一下婚姻顧問吧！你的孩子存在一些紀律問題嗎？那你可以找出主要問題，然后列出你打算改正這個問題的綱領并持之以恒。
你可能會說，“是的，這些聽起來很簡單，但是……”這聽起來當然簡單。談論問題總是比付諸行動去解決問題要簡單的多。然而，問題是困難的還是簡單的全憑我們解決的決心的大小。有時我們可能把問題復雜化了。
如果你不幸福的原因是來源于一種你無法控制的情形，那你可以尋找其他方法來加以彌補。譬如，如果你生活拮據并且不太有可能會突然大發橫財，那就找比較便宜的娛樂方式。比如，后院足球，公園野餐，看電影吃爆米花或者在臥室享受零食，做一些選擇來期待一次昂貴的外出。如果問題比較嚴重而你有感到無力，這時你就應該向專業人士來尋求幫助。
然而，看著鏡子中的你很快樂。如果你不喜歡你所看到的，那就改變它。解決的方法很簡單。
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