On a wet Tuesday, I am hovering furtively in the fresh produce section of Sainsbury’s. But my absorption in the merits of Golden Delicious and Washington Reds is but a cunning charade. I’m really on a mission.
一個天氣潮濕的周二，我在超市的生鮮區(qū)域前后逡巡，假裝專注的看著那些金冠蘋果和華盛頓紅蘋果，然而這只是我狡黠的詭計，事實上我正在執(zhí)行秘密任務(wù)。
I have just received four hours of tuition in the art of flirting from relationship coach Jean Smith and I’m here to put my skills to the test.
我剛剛在戀愛大師簡·史密斯那兒學(xué)習(xí)了四個小時搭訕的藝術(shù)，現(xiàn)在正要驗證一下我所學(xué)得的技巧。
Spotting a middle-aged victim, I sidle up and deliver the line suggested by Jean to provoke conversation.
這時我發(fā)現(xiàn)一個中年目標(biāo)對象，我緩步走過去，說出了那句簡建議我們使用的，用來打開對方話匣子的臺詞。
‘Um,’ I begin magnificently. ‘Have you tried that kind of apple before?’
“呃，”我鎮(zhèn)重其事的開口說道：“請問你吃過這種蘋果嗎?”
Flirting has been Jean’s specialist subject for more than a decade, after doing a masters degree in social anthropology. Not only has she produced an entire book on the subject (The Flirt Interpreter), but she runs ‘Flirtology’ courses.
簡在獲得社會人類學(xué)博士學(xué)位之后，數(shù)十年來一直專注于對搭訕?biāo)囆g(shù)的研究。她不僅對這個課題寫出了一本專注(《搭訕解謎者》),還在講授關(guān)于“搭訕學(xué)”的課程。
‘Clients appreciate a scientific approach. Flirting is a skill — you can learn it. I’m a catalyst to set people on track — it’s up to them to act on it,’ Jean says.
“顧客們想要獲得一種科學(xué)的方法。搭訕是一種技巧——是可以學(xué)習(xí)的。我能起到一種催化劑的作用，幫人們找到正確的途徑。——不過如何親身實踐就要看他們自己了。”
My four hours with her are a condensed version of one of her courses. Judging by her central London flat where we met for the first two hours, she is doing very nicely.
她對我講授的四小時課程濃縮了她課程中講授的內(nèi)容。我們第一堂課時長兩小時，地點是在她位于倫敦中心地區(qū)的公寓里，從這套公寓來看，她的收入相當(dāng)可觀。
Jean asks what I’m looking for, ushering me away from ‘objectifying laundry lists’ such as height, weight and income.
簡問我想要找什么樣的人，讓我避免設(shè)立太過具體化的“明細(xì)清單”式的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，比如身高、體重和收入要求等等。
This is not to say she advocates hooking up with a short, fat pauper. But she urges me not to rule out someone just because I prefer taller men: ‘It’s holding you back. How much of your life are you standing up next to each other?’
這并不是說她鼓勵我去勾搭一個又矮又胖的窮光蛋，不過她勸我不要就因為自己喜歡較高的男性而把一些人排除在選擇范圍之外。
Then she asks what I’m doing to improve my chances of meeting someone, and suggests a big party where everybody brings a single friend, adding: ‘You need to spend more time in places where you can start up conversations without expectations.’
然后她問我為了找到合適的伴侶做了哪些準(zhǔn)備，建議我可以舉辦一個盛大的派對，并要求每一個客人都要帶一名單身攜伴參加。她還說道：“在某些特定的場所你常常會找到不期而遇的談伴，你要多花些時間呆在這些地方。”
This, it turns out, is largely what Jean’s ‘flirtology’ is about — not being coquettish, but simply going to places where there are other people, and talking to them. The idea is meeting as many potential partners as possible in the hope one will click. It’s a numbers game, but one you can only embark on if you’re confident enough — which is what Jean hopes to teach.
其實，上述就是簡的“搭訕學(xué)”的主要理念——不需要打扮得太招人注目，而是要去那些可以碰到他人的地方，與他們交談。這就是說，你要盡可能多的與潛在對象交流，鎖定其中一人符合目標(biāo)。這是一個以多多益善為原則的游戲，不過如果你足夠自信，你就能發(fā)揮自如——這就是簡試圖教會人們的。
She has also devised an unlikely acronym for six flirting signals to look for. ‘It’s HOT APE — Humour, open body-language, touch, attention, proximity and eye contact. That’s what you look for to tell someone is flirting with you. Also self-disclosure — they tell you something about themselves.’
不可思議的是，她還設(shè)計了一組首字母縮寫字符，概括了六種人們應(yīng)當(dāng)注意的搭訕信號。“這六個首字母就是HOT APE(直譯為“性感的大猩猩”)——幽默(humor)、開放式的身體語言(open body-language)、接觸(touch)、關(guān)注(attention)、距離(proximity)和眼神交流(eye contact)。
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