If you feel like you’re the awkward person at social events or you struggle to enter into conversations because you’re shy, it can impact your social life and your career. However, you can start improving your social skills by following these 12 strategies and soon, you’ll be able to enter into conversations with confidence.
如果因為你很害羞內(nèi)向，在社交場合感覺自己很不自在或想插話很那，這種狀態(tài)的你會影響社交生活和你的職業(yè)。不過，下列這12個策略很快就會開始提高你的社交技巧，你能自信滿滿地進入對話情景中。
1. Behave Like a Social Person
讓自己表現(xiàn)得個愛社交的人
You can behave like a more social creature, even if you don’t feel like it. Don’t allow anxiety to hold you back. Make the decision to talk to new people and to enter into conversations even when you’re feeling nervous about it. Over time, it will get easier and you’ll quickly start improving your social skills.
即使你不喜歡這樣，你也要把自己表現(xiàn)得像個喜歡社交的人。不要讓焦慮阻礙你。即使你感到緊張，也要下定決心與新認識的人進行交談。久而久之，社交會變得比較容易很快開始提高社交技巧。
2. Start Small if Necessary
如有需要從小事做起
If going to a party or spending time in a crowd seems overwhelming, start small. Go into the grocery store and say, “Thank you,” to the clerk or go to a restaurant and order your food. Practice making small talk gradually.
如果參加聚會或跟一群人在一起感覺會把你淹沒，那就從小處慢慢來。對雜貨店店員，或餐館服務(wù)員說聲“謝謝，”。從小的交談開始逐漸練習(xí)。
3. Ask Open-Ended Questions
問一些開放式問題
If you want the attention off you in a conversation, get familiar with open-ended questions. Encourage others to talk so you won’t have to make the idle chit-chat. Ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer and you may open the door to invite the other person to keep the conversation going.
在一個對話交談中，如果你想把注意力從自己身上轉(zhuǎn)移開，就要熟悉一些開放式問題。鼓勵別人去多說，這樣你就不必說些家長里短的話了。問一些需要不只“是/否”回答的問題，這樣你就敞開大門邀請別人參與，讓對話進行下去了。
4. Encourage Others to Talk About Themselves
鼓勵別人討論自己
Most people really enjoy talking about themselves. Ask a question about a person’s career, hobbies, or family. Show you’re interested in hearing what is being said.
大部分人真的喜歡對自己大加討論，問一下對方關(guān)于職業(yè)、愛好或家庭方面的問題。你要對別人的說話內(nèi)容表現(xiàn)出有興趣去聽的狀態(tài)。
5. Create Goals for Yourself
為自己設(shè)立目標(biāo)
Establish some small goals for yourself. Perhaps you want to practice one particular skill or maybe you want to start attending a social activity in your community. Establish a goal and begin to work on strategies that will improve your social life.
為自己制定一些小目標(biāo)。或許你想要鍛煉自己掌握一項特殊技能，或許你想開始參與社區(qū)的社交活動。制定一個目標(biāo)并開始按照策略方法去進行，這樣就會提高你的社會生活能力。
6. Offer Compliments Generously
不吝贊美之言
Compliments can be a great way to open the door to a conversation. Offer a co-worker a compliment on a presentation he gave at a meeting or compliment your neighbor on his new car. Compliments can show others that you are friendly.
贊美之言是敞開對話大門的一個很好的方式。對同事的會上發(fā)言或鄰居的新車不吝贊美之言，多美言幾句。贊美之言能向別人表示出你很友好。
7. Read Books About Social Skills
讀關(guān)于社交技能方面的書籍
There are many books on the market that can help you learn specific social skills and ways to start conversations. However, keep in mind that reading about these skills won’t make you an expert. You’ll need to practice them over and over again.
市場上有許多書籍能幫助你學(xué)習(xí)具體社交技能，和如何開始進行對話的方法。不過，記住讀這類技能方面的書籍并不會使你變成一名專家。需要你反復(fù)練習(xí)才能掌握這些技能。
8. Practice Good Manners
養(yǎng)成良好禮儀
Good manners go a long way in improving social skills. Practice being polite, showing gratitude, and using good table manners.
良好的禮儀對提高社交技能大有幫助。要表現(xiàn)得禮貌、常表達感激之情并表現(xiàn)良好的餐桌禮儀。
9. Pay Attention to Your Body Language
注意你的肢體語言
Non-verbal communication is very important. Pay attention to the type of body language you use. Try to appear relaxed, make appropriate amounts of eye contact, and appear open to conversation.
非口頭的溝通交流很重要。注意你所使用的肢體語言。試著表現(xiàn)出輕松的狀態(tài)，適當(dāng)做眼神接觸交流，并對對話內(nèi)容表現(xiàn)出敞開心扉的狀態(tài)。
10. Join a Social Skills Support Group
加入一個社交技能支持小組
Many communities offer social skill support groups. Support groups help people who feel shy, awkward, or extremely anxious in social situations learn and practice new skills. You’ll start improving social skills and may be able to make new friends who understand your difficulties.
許多社區(qū)都提供社交技能支持小組。小組幫助那些在社交場合感到害羞、尷尬或非常焦慮的人學(xué)習(xí)和練習(xí)新技能。你的社交技能會開始逐步提高，可以結(jié)交到那些理解你遇到的社交困難的新朋友。
11. Stay Up to Date on Current Events
了解最新時事
Read up on current trends and news stories so you have something to talk about with people. Try to avoid anything that is too controversial, such as politics, but do talk about other news stories that may be of interest. It can be a great way to start a conversation and can help you stick to neutral subjects.
閱讀當(dāng)下流行趨勢和新聞故事，這樣你和大家就會有可談?wù)摰脑掝}。試著避開太過沖突的話題，例如政治話題，但可以談?wù)摽赡芤鸫蠹液芏嗳伺d趣的新聞故事，新聞話題是開始對話的好方式，因為可以聊一些中性話題。
12. Identify and Replace Negative Thoughts
意識到自己的消極想法，改正掉
If you have a lot of negative thoughts about your social interactions, it could become a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, a person who thinks, “I’m really awkward and I will embarrass myself,” may sit in the corner at a party. As a result, he may leave the party thinking that he must be really awkward because no one talked to him.
如果你對社交溝通交流有很多消極想法，可能會成為一種自我應(yīng)驗的預(yù)言。例如，有人認為，“我真的感到自己處于非常尷尬的境地，”會坐在聚會的某個角落。結(jié)果他會從聚會場合上離開，會一直覺得沒人跟他說話，所以自己一定很尷尬。
Identify negative thoughts that are likely dragging you down. Replace them with more realistic thoughts, such as, “I can make conversation and I can meet new people.” Don’t allow yourself to dwell on thoughts that aren’t productive.
確定消極思想有可能在拖累著你，用更加現(xiàn)實的想法取代消極想法，例如，“我可以和別人對話我還可以與新認識的人見面。” 不許自己停留在無意義的思想中。
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